Dying to Live
How Reflecting on Death Daily Helps Me Truly Live
I think about death daily—not in a morbid or fearful way, but as a practice to appreciate the present moment. It’s not a mindset everyone embraces, but I’ve found it profoundly grounding.
There are monks who reflect on death every day, and they’ve shared why: it’s a reminder of life’s fragility and the urgency to live fully. It’s about cherishing what’s fleeting—our relationships, our time, our existence—because nothing is promised beyond this moment.
I feel this most deeply in moments with my family. Like on New Year’s Eve, surrounded by everyone I love. But in the back of my mind, there’s the realization: Next New Year’s Eve, we might not all be here. Death doesn’t follow birth order. It doesn’t wait for us to finish our plans.
When I was 18, I lost my grandmother to a drunk driver. One night, we were on the phone making plans to go to the Chinese buffet after school. By morning, she was gone. One phone call changed everything. Instead of the buffet, I was at her funeral. In an instant, she was taken. No goodbyes. No idea that was our last conversation. That moment taught me how fragile life is.
I think about death more as my parents age. Two years ago, my dad had a health emergency that nearly took his life. Fourteen days in the hospital, not knowing what would happen, forced me to confront the inevitability of loss. It’s not a question of if but when. We all die. It’s the one thing we all share.
Sometimes, I wonder what it would be like if we knew the exact day someone we loved—or we ourselves—would die. Would we live differently? Would we savor the time left with them? What would we say or do in those final moments?
When stress creeps into my life, I remind myself of death. Not to despair, but to put things into perspective. If I were to die today, would this stress matter? The answer is almost always no. And with that, I find clarity. Stress loses its grip. I’m able to focus on solutions instead of the weight of the problem.
Thinking about death daily has made me appreciate life in a way I never thought possible. Every ordinary moment becomes extraordinary. Every hug, every laugh, every mundane Tuesday is a gift.
We can’t live forever. But maybe that’s the beauty of it.
